Twins.... Yes, you read that right

I wanted to write this entry while things are still pretty new. I want to be able to look back on this time, and remember all these emotions. Please don't judge me for my reaction, this is a candid description on my feelings on that day. So here it goes....

Wednesday December 4th I woke up and couldn't wait for the day to start. Our appointment was at 1:45 for our first ultrasound. I put on Facebook to ask people if they thought boy or girl (yes, key word OR) and we got mixed results- some boy some girl. I picked Dylan up from school, and couldn't handle the excitement.

We went to the hospital to get the ultrasound. We were surrounded by members from both of our families. When the tech came out to get me, she thought that I was there for my 6 week pregnancy confirmation ultrasound. Um.... no! I felt huge (haha no wonder why) and there's no way that I was only 6 weeks. She then said that after we found out the gender, that some people would have to leave the room because it gets too complicated.

We get into the room and she starts asking everyone what they think the gender is. My sister in law Sandra pipes up and says, "I think its twins." This is not the first time that I heard this. I got asked a few times if I was having twins. I always replied that I did not want to have twins, and that I would cry tears of sadness if that were the case.

The tech puts the ultrasound wand on and the image comes on the screen. There are definitely a lot of body parts in there. I start to panic a little bit, and she says, "Well there are two in there." I said, "You are kidding me?!?" I immediately start to cry. She then proceeds to say that she is going to look around to make sure that there aren't three babies. I sat there, livid as all get out, praying and praying that there were only (ha) two. If she would have told me there were three, I honestly would have punched her in the face right then and there. Luckily (ha again) there were two babies. If Dylan had not been in the room I am sure some profane language would have came out of my mouth. But I just sat there, crying my eyes out. I did not say a word for a good 10 minutes. In shock was the understatement of the century. Ted was surprised, to say the least, but within a minute or so he was happy. Everyone in the room was happy but me. My mom knew that I was panicking came to me and said that everything would be okay. This just let to more tears, I couldn't believe this was happening. It all felt like a dream, and it still feels a little hazy to me.

The tech then says that we would be here for about two hours. With having twins, it is double the parts to find and sometimes can be difficult to see. But within a matter of minutes she could tell that both of them were boys. Our boys were definitely strutting their stuff! This is when I thought the tech would make some of our family leave. But she must have felt bad for me (she didn't realize that we didn't know) and she let everyone stay. She started looking at "Baby A." I'm not going to lie, I don't really remember much about her exam on "Baby A." I just sat there, crying, looking at the screen in disbelief. She saw all the parts she needed to, and was going to have the radiologist look at them to make sure they were okay. I needed to pee (no wonder I have to pee all the time) and it took every ounce of strength to not break down in there. I looked in the mirror, eyes red and puffy, and couldn't believe this was happening. I walked out to many hugs from our family. I am so thankful that they were there, encouraging us and letting me know it would be okay.

It was now "Baby B" turn for the exam. This time the shock had wore off a little, and I paid more attention. The babies are on opposite ends and "Baby B" is on top. It was so neat to be able to see them both moving around. I couldn't believe these two babies were inside of me. The tech saw all that she needed to on both babies, which is a huge blessing. With new policies in place, she couldn't say anything. You could see a distinct line between the two babies, indicating that they are fraternal twins. She said that there was fluid, a line, and more fluid. This was her way of confirming our thoughts without coming out and saying it. We meet with my doctor next Tuesday to go over all of the results.

I have been asked how we didn't know up until this point. That is something I keep asking myself. All of my blood work levels came back within normal range. But after doing some research the normal level for singletons (yeah I learned that this was a term yesterday) and twins overlap in the same range. We heard the heartbeat on 3 different occasions, only hearing one. I was not on any fertility medication. Twins don't run in either of our families. I was measuring on the higher end for singletons, but nothing out of range. There was just no reason to suspect twins.

Fast forward to that night. I was an utter mess. I cried, and cried, and cried. I couldn't believe that this was happening. This is not what I wanted. When I woke up that morning, this was not what I was expecting. I thought that night Ted and I would be talking about the gender of our one baby. I broke down on a few occasions and just sobbed. Poor Dylan came into our room and saw me crying. He was so worried and concerned about me. I asked Ted to put him to bed because I wanted to be alone. Ted said that his prayer that night was the cutest thing ever. He prayed for his baby brothers that they would be strong and healthy. He prayed for me, that I would be okay and happy. Ohh that little boy, I love him so much! He has wanted twins from the beginning and wanted a brother. Well he got his wish, with two brothers. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful husband that loves me and comforted me as best he could. I am so glad that he wasn't freaking out or else that would have made it so much worse. I asked him to give me a blessing and that helped.

That night I woke up around 1 AM and said quite a few prayers. I got this overwhelming feeling of peace. I realized that these two boys were supposed to come to earth together. We don't know why, but they are supposed to be here at the same time. They chose us to be their parents. They are precious little miracles and Heavenly Father has a plan for them. Things will be hard, yes. I am sure we will get next to no sleep once they come. But they are supposed to be in our family, and the Lord will bless us with strength. From that moment on, I felt much better about the situation. I am still surprised, and I'm sure I will be for a while. But I can say I am at peace, and happy that my two boys are coming.

Baby Boys,
I am sure that you are happy that we are acknowledging that you are both in there. Mommy was so surprised to find out that there are two of you growing inside of me. I am so incredibly humbled that you chose me to be your mom. You two will bless me in ways that I cant even begin to comprehend. You are so loved by so many people! You have the world's best big brother. He cant want to be able to play with you and teach you so many things. He asked me yesterday if on the weekends if you two could sleep in his room with him. He is so excited for you to join our family. You have the worlds best dad. He will teach you what it is like to be a husband, father, friend, and a good person. He is so excited about you two. He keeps telling me how awesome it will be! There is no doubt that you two will teach me patience. But you will also teach me about a love I never thought was possible. There is no doubt that finding out about you two was a surprise, but I am coming to the realization that I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you two more than words can describe. Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. I love you!